While we sing ‘it’s the most wonderful time of the year’, many of us feel vapors of sadness, sorrow, and self-pity gathering around us. These unwelcome guests sneak in under the cracks and crevices of our lives. They can easily envelop us in a cloud of fog, darkness, despair even leading to depression. We sing, celebrate, decorate, cook, clean, and quite honestly, we wear ourselves down and our heart grows despondent. We put on a happy face for our children, for others and think if we just smile and choose to enjoy we will make it through another holiday season.
As women, the holidays usually mean MORE:
More decisions to make
More duties to accomplish
More obligations
More opportunities to spend money
More, More, MORE….
And the MORE ends up being TOO MUCH. By the end of it all, we are stumbling our way into a new year, full of heart bumps and bruises, making commitments, goals and resolutions that will hopefully inspire us, making us better women.
Ladies, I would love to sit down and write a fluffy, full of good things, inspiring Thanksgiving Day Blog that will help you out of the rut of doing things the same way. And honestly, as someone with Positivity as one of my top strengths (see CliftonStrengths 2.0), it would be super easy for me to do. However, I realize that the holidays can be very challenging for women. I don’t want to feed you a spoonful of sugar that, in the long run, will cause you to crash and burn. I don’t want to give you another thing ‘to do’.
Unfortunately, I can’t do that all with one simple blog, but perhaps we can take a sneak peek at some possibilities together. Especially now, as the holidays crowd in around us and we see another year rounding the corner, ready to sweep us away.
What can we do to ‘nip it in the bud’?
How can we manage the list of MORE’S that will strengthen us to face a new year?
How can we re-wire our thinking and doing so we can really CELEBRATE the season?
Where do we start?
As a coach and woman who is passionate about the emotional and spiritual well-being of other women, I want to help you learn to DISCOVER what the challenges are that keep you living in joy during this season, DEFINE a plan that works for you, and DEVELOP into the woman you long to be, without adding to your TO-DO list.
IT’S NOT TOO LATE to make positive choices for the holidays that will help you turn the corner of a new year with strength and dignity.
DISCOVER
Dis-cover (or uncover) what is important to you during this season. If you have a spouse or children, involve them in the discussion.
Imagine yourself at the end of 2021, as you look back at the holiday season, what do you want to be able to say about it? What do you want to remember about the holiday season of 2021?
Take a moment today and dive deep into the journey of discovery.
Perhaps you can inquire of yourself right now, as you are reading this blog.
Maybe as you tuck your darlings in bed tonight you can ask a simple question.
Or, as everyone clamors through the kitchen looking for something to eat capture their attention for a moment and ASK.
Possibly your family is able to sit down around the dinner table, engage them with the above conversation starter.
…”don’t put off until tomorrow what you can accomplish today”…JUST DO IT
WHEN will you discuss this with your family, spouse, yourself?
Commit to a time and feel free to share this in the comments. You will be more likely to follow through if you write it down and tell others when you will follow through.
DEFINE
Now that you know what you want to be able to say or feel about the holidays (the end is in sight of what you want to create) draw some framework around what you want to achieve.
The next questions that need answered could be:
WHAT is important that I/we can accomplish during the holiday season?
WHAT is NOT important for us/me to do?
What can I decide right now to say NO to?
WHY is this important to us/me?
HOW do these choices line up with what I want the end result to look or feel like?
Put these guardrails around yourself and your family.
DEVELOP
Now it’s time to add the structure as to how the end goal or vision can be achieved.
What will we/I say NO to in order to ensure we/I accomplish the thing or things that are important?
What are the steps I need to take to implement this; to ensure it happens?
What is one step toward achieving what is important that can be taken TODAY?
Looking back over the years, I learned to implement these steps early on, desiring for each holiday season to be filled with joy and peace for our family. In order to accomplish this, it was vital that our family connected every day in some way. Every night with the tree lit, soft music playing, and children in pajama’s, someone would unwrap one of our beloved Christmas books and we would read aloud. In order to maintain peace within the walls of our home, we had to be home by 8:00 pm in order to have this evening connection. This desire for peace and the implementation of a gathering connection time, gave me the freedom to say NO, building guardrails around our family to ensure our vision for a peaceful holiday season came about.
I'd love to hear your families vision for the holidays, the feelings that are important for each member to carry as a memory of this season. In addition, let us know what the one or two things you will be incorporating this year to maintain the guardrails and keep the MORE from being too much.