Busy Moms Can Learn To REALLY RELAX
What does it look like to REALLY RELAX?
Recently, my chiropractor asked me to relax my arm so that my body could receive the full benefit of the adjustment. I instantly obliged, allowing it to go limp so she could make the necessary adjustments. As she moved around the table to position herself for the other arm, she said, as if in passing, “You weren’t REALLY RELAXED.”
Somewhat astounded by her assessment, I questioned her reality. After all, I FELT relaxed, breathing deeply and allowing my arm to go limp…I was focused on relaxing. She said, “You think you have relaxed it, but you REALLY haven’t. You are not fighting me, but you are still helping me.”
We laughed; however, a nagging feeling began developing in the pit of my stomach.
In the quiet moments after she left, I became increasingly aware that my Heavenly Father wanted to use this innocent interaction to get my attention. I heard that still small whisper, ”Misty, you think you are really relaxing, but you are still trying to help me.”
In The Beginning
From the beginning, the kind intention of the Father has been for us to become like children and relax into His rest. He beckons us..."Come and relax into me."
This is evident through the story of creation.
God made mankind on the 6th day.
Then God rested and welcomed mankind into His rest.
The first responsibility of Adam and Eve was to enter into what God had already accomplished, relax, and enjoy His finished work.
Our Current Condition
Culturally, we have been conditioned to work first and somehow earn rest.
We strive and work and hope for rest and relaxation
at the end of the week.
Relaxation comes only after we have achieved our daily goals or crossed things off our ever-increasing to-do list.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure I’ve ever learned to really relax. Over the years, my attempts at resting involved getting a massage, going out with friends, or soaking in a hot bubble bath. I even incorporated a yearly retreat into my busy working mom-life. All of these were GREAT opportunities for rest and relaxation,
but I wonder...
But did I REALLY RELAX?
Did I really comprehend how to PRACTICE SOLITUDE?
NOPE, I filled my weekend retreats with planning, reading, listening, and learning. I had objectives to accomplish on these wonderful set-apart times.
You see, I learned early in life that I needed to be my own protector, provider, parent and more. I believed my value was based on what I could achieve, accomplish, and attain. So, even in silence and solitude, I attempted to accomplish something.
Perhaps, like me, you are doing the ‘things to relax’, but in reality, God is saying, “You are still helping Me move you into the right place, you are not fighting me, but you are not REALLY RELAXING.”
Relaxing wasn't about doing the right things; it involved so...much...more.
Is the Heavenly Chiropractor wanting to make some adjustments? Are you struggling to let go and REALLY RELAX?
Mark Twain recognized this in his own generation and advised,
“If you have no time to rest, it’s exactly the right time.”
So my Lovely Lead-Her Mom-Friend,
Join me on the journey as we learn to REALLY RELAX:
DISCOVER what it means and feels like to really relax;
The 1828 Webster’s Dictionary defines relax in the following ways:
To slacken, to loosen, to make less severe or rigorous, to unbend, to open.
Relaxation is the outcome we are looking for;
it is not the actual activity.
Imagine what being REALLY RELAXED would feel, look, and sound like. Envision that state of being for yourself.
DEFINE the obstacles that get in the way of living and loving from a place of relaxation.
Hurry & Hustle Culture
Our society values speed and hard work while viewing rest as a weakness. We often only allow ourselves to relax once we've completed everything on our never-ending to-do list.
As ambitious women striving for success in all aspects of our lives- personal, professional, and domestic- we constantly have something to work on or improve, whether it's our own personal growth, our homes, or our businesses.
"by resisting the urge to prioritize urgent tasks over everything else, we can open ourselves up to better hearing and understanding God's will for us."
As a certified overachiever (yep, I’m pretty sure there is a certification for overachieving), influenced by a grandma who was always producing (even while sitting), I struggle with believing there is any value in resting and learning to relax.
The truth is, as busy mothers, we often get in our own way. We have internalized the values and expectations of the world around us, and our own beliefs can be our biggest obstacle.
If you're ready to start untangling the web that's been holding you back from rest and relaxation, I recommend listening to "FIGHT HURRY; END HUSTLE." This podcast series consists of just 11 short episodes, and it can help you reframe your perspective on rest and empower you to take steps towards a more balanced lifestyle.
DEVELOP a plan where you have the ability to build a lifestyle of REALLY RELAXING.
Learn to Let Go
The key word here is LEARN. Learning takes time, energy, and resources.
You will have to give yourself grace on this journey.
You might need to inform family and close friends that you are intentional about learning a new rhythm.
If you'd like support in "learning to let go," download THE PAUSE APP to begin the process of learning to give Jesus everything.
Learning to REALLY RELAX will involve setting aside time on your calendar. Taking time to pause doesn’t just happen.
Call it Sabbath, Solitude,
or a season of Silence.
I have been exploring the concept of rest after realizing that I didn't know how to really relax. During my exploration, I came across a podcast named Rule Of Life, which delves deeply into the spiritual disciplines of Sabbath, Solitude, Silence, Fasting, and more. Recently, during a period of deliberate solitude, I had an epiphany.
I realized that I experience rest when I become still, silent, or enter into solitude.
Incorporating a Sabbath, or time of silence allows me to relax and let go; My grip loosens, and life falls into place. My soul becomes quiet, and the voices in my head cease. I have discovered what it feels like to REALLY RELAX.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Our Father is inviting YOU, His Beloved Daughter, to really relax and lean into Him. When the Father invites us to trust Him and not lean on our understanding, He invites us to a full posture of dependency.
Perhaps you also hear the smiling whisper of the Lord, “You aren’t REALLY relaxed; you just think you are. Trust me, relax into me.”
Where are you on your journey of learning to REALLY RELAX?
If you are looking for a coach to help you implement a rhythm of silence that works for your life
I'd be delighted to help.
Schedule a call and let's get started.
It's a perfect time of year to learn to REALLY RELAX.